Monday, May 22, 2006

DaVinci Bored

I had heard the DaVinci Code was getting negative reviews, but ignored that fact when I signed up to wait in line an hour early to see the movie in the valley's best theater. I rarely agree with critics, especially those usually cited, like Roger Ebert or the mustachioed man from the Today Show. They have an old white guy perspective that I never share, and many times, let's face it, films go over their heads.

But this time they're right. (Well, I didn't read them, but read reviews at the Rotten Tomatoes site.) One of the people I went with was worried he wouldn't "get it" b/c he hadn't read the book. I reasurred him that Ron Howard would never make a film that would go over his head. This film would not go over a 3-year-old's head. Everything is explained three times, and there are visual aids like you're back in high school. Those sequences are like a lame history channel documentary, with some misplaced Coen Bros-type, washed out cinematography. Think Oh Brother Where Art Thou crossed with oh, I don't know, something supremely boring.

I read the book right after I got home from Paris in 2003 - I had been to the Louvre and it was a nice way to end the trip. It was a page turner but obviously not without flaws and some supremely silly set-ups. It was amusing to see Christians falling out all over in regards to a fictional story, especially considering all the trouble the catholic church gets itself into without outside help. Why worry about the origins of Catholic creed, pagan or otherwise, or its effect on women of history when the church doesn't even seem to care about living, breathing kids? Many traditions that became Christian originated from pagan rituals, including Christmas, originally the winter solstice. The point is, they did evolve that way, and the Christians have pretty much won over the pagans. Why try to rewrite history? Anyway.

There were protesters outside the theater, holding up signs that say "We love Jesus Christ." Now, I'm pretty sure the movie was not saying that Jesus Christ was not loveable; in fact, I think the point was that he was loveable too much, or with the wrong person. But turning Tom Hanks' character into a skeptic to mollify the church made the film seem cheesy when it should have felt edgy. Too much cheese in anything makes it bloated and bland.

Sigh. I'm thinking about protesting too. Holding up a sign that says "BEWARE, VERY BORING, BRING CAFFEINE!!"

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Excellent job. It describes everything I felt was wrong with the movie perfectly.

Thoughts and Ideas said...

wow thanks for the heads up. I'll trust your judgement. Amanda went to see it and said it was arduous at best, she didn't like it. She felt it was too hyped for Hollywood.
still looking forward to seeing Celestine Prophecy...

Anonymous said...

Wow, what can I say. I audiobook'd it, I waited for it, I got tickets (early cheap ones), I sat through it, I was entertained. Was it the best movie ever? Nope, but Ron Howard and Tom Hanks have bills to pay. Someone gotta keep the electric on... This movie was no "Say Anything", or "Grosse Point Blank", or "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure" either. Holding a main stream movie up to your standards is just asking for trouble. You already know it's not going to work.... Remeber the "Bourne Whatever"... Lower your expectations of the main stream... Keep the NetFlix account for your real enjoyment... Have you see "My Name is Earl" Two Thumbs up !

Me said...

I absolutely LOVE earl... Did you see the one where they all snuck into the office and tried to take the copier? Or the one where the police badge substituted for Frodo's ring? excellent stuff.

Yeah, I know, but still, I like some mainstream flicks - I mean, LOTR is mainstream. Ron Howard can tell a story visually. It was just BORING!!!!

Lara said...

She loved Date Movie.

And that's like Turbo Mainstream.

Girl, I got your back!

Me said...

Hey! Not only do you got my back I think you invited a new term!

Turbo Mainstream, from now on TM in all blog references. :-)

blogedyblogblog said...

Was it Capote boring or just really disappointing?

My hopes for a good movie summer are dwindling. Not only is it going to be frickin', surface of the sun, hot but there won't be anything good to watch in the cool dark movie theatres. This sucks!

Me said...

I can't say it was Capote boring but it was just this side of it.