House Tales

When you sell a house, the house is like a girlfriend who has a crappy boyfriend, and all she wants is a commitment. She gets all painted up, gets new decoration, always looks her best, stays home to wait for calls, and all she hears is, well, maybe if you didn't have such a past (ok, so I was built in '39 but I look good!) and maybe if you were a little less well-traveled (nuthin' I can do about being on 12th street!) and maybe if you weren't so hot (HUH?!) then maybe I could make a commitment.

And what is it about people who are adamant about seeing the house TODAY and then they don't show up or call? I have had that 3 times already and it's only been on the market for 3 weeks.

Get this - I had one woman write before the house was even listed - I just floated it on Craig's List for responses. She asked permission 3 days in a row to come on a Sunday morning. So sure, I cleaned like crazy (remember, it wasn't really ready yet), and she didn't show up or call. A couple days later she emailed asking if it was still available. Yes... again, didn't show up or call. So I'm up on Clarkdale, trying to be on vacation (THAT is another whole story) and she and her husband were looking in the guest house windows when my friend Joann just happened to come over and feed the dog...

So Joann calls me and says, ummm, do you want me to let these people in?? And I said, sure, what the hell, if you have time, and it turns out to be the multiple no-shows. And, they invite the sister, who comes running down the alley because she lives nearby, to see the guest house, her potential future quarters.

So they love the house right down to my Rushmore poster (It's our favorite movie too! Cosmic! Beauty! Karma! whatever...) I get an email a couple days later asking for more information -about plumbing, electrical, etc. I send a long, nice email back and invite them over to spend more time here.

A week goes by. My realtor calls them for feedback. Here's what they say:

"Oh, we're not in the housing market, we're not in any position to buy, we were just really curious about the house. We really love it! Tell her good luck."

!!!! I sent them a bill for my time.

Or how about these: I have an open house, really good turn out, no bites. One pair, a woman and her son, told the realtor they thought the guest house WAS THE MAIN HOUSE. !!! And another one, a German woman, thought the house would be around 200K (it's 350K) and if I could drop it to that, she would be interested, because then it would cost the same as her condo. !!!

This is the best yet though - I took the doorknob out of the guest house door - it is just a hole you can see through, the door only stays shut b/c the cooler is blowing it closed. And a realtor was there when I got home from the grocery store the other day. She told me she and her client didn't see the guest house because they didn't have a key for that.

Sigh.